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<title>i no longer fear the razor guarding my heel. by tormenmashi</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29220180">i no longer fear the razor guarding my heel.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tormenmashi/pseuds/tormenmashi'>tormenmashi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist, 炎炎ノ消防隊 | Enen no Shouboutai | Fire Force (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Implied abuse, M/M, OOC, ShinraRin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 07:29:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>339</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29220180</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tormenmashi/pseuds/tormenmashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
      <p>shinra pov.</p>
    </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shinra Kusakabe/Okumura Rin, Shinra Kusakabe/Rin Okumura, ShinraRin - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i no longer fear the razor guarding my heel.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>shinra pov.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>You were the one that I loved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>You were so caring and kind, it felt like you were my home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I don’t know since when did it changed, you aren’t who you were anymore</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Looking at you is like looking at a demon, you scare me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I’m around you, it no longers feels like the home it used to be </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Being around you feels like I have razors under my heels </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tiptoed, I have to be careful around you. I don’t want to be hurt again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every time I see you, I feel scared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every night I cry to myself alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After all you were a demon child, you really can’t shake who you are.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>At some point I doubted myself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is it my fault? Did I do this to myself? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I don’t know if it is my fault, but you made me feel as if it is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We both have flaws.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your flaws are burning through your skin like demonic flames from hell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your flames are hurting me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We both did wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Your suffering isn’t your fault.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But it isn’t fair that I’m being hurt because of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Our relationship is broken glass spread all over the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one dared to walk closer to each other or walk away from this mess.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It will only leave us hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But I need some closure for myself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I no longer fear the razor guarding my heel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I will take the first step, only then I can heal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I will walk out of this place, stepping all over the broken glass</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hope that one day, you too could heal and find some closure for yourself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I will be waiting for that day, and I hope for the best for you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For now, I will celebrate for stepping on broken glass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I will be free again, I can finally breathe again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My scars are like evidence that we were once together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They will always remind me of you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I will learn to love myself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hope you will too.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>goodnight.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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